For those of you that thought you might have stumbled onto a Swedish penis enlargement website, do not navigate away. The big dick is of course none other than the Aussie referee himself, Stuart Dickenson, and this very much a rugby post. The unfortunate name Mr Dickenson has acquired is both a play on words relating to his surname as well as a direct result of the common opinion of him amongst any and all Springbok rugby fans. But have we stopped and considered why this is? Why do we dislike this man so intensely? Sure, he is strict and even pedantic at times, but he is seldom if ever blatantly subjective.

He is such a staunch follower of the letter of the (rugby) law that he has come under the spotlight in the land of the white cloud as well. Paddy O’ Brien, the hallowed head of the IRB refereeing panel has made it his implicit mission to dissect the way Dickenson applies the law and he didn’t like what he saw! The Australian adjudicator has been unrelenting in his firm handling of infringement law at any break down and this spells disaster for Kiwi golden boy and all-round “skelm” Richie McCaw. O’ Brian realised in a flash that The Dick was never going to be intimidated by McCaw’s presence or pedigree and that he could ill afford. If any of the readers has the time to research when last Dickenson officiated an All Black game, be my guest, just don’t be surprised if you have to go back 2-3 years to get answers. Dickenson is frequently used in Springbok games (even when his native Australia is the opponents) and his interpretations are harsh on Brussouw and company to say the least, but we seem to keep on drawing him.

Without fail, The All Blacks get awarded a SA referee (more often than not Craig Joubert) who seems to be happy just to let McCaw and his pack of unlawful infringers sail as close to the wind as possible. Joubert is an above average referee or he is supposed to be, but he generally seems indifferent to making the hard calls, except of course when they go against Western Province. Jonathan Kaplan and Mark Lawrence are much better at placing their stamp on proceedings than the 33 year-old ex-Maritzburg College pupil!

This blog however, is centred on the Big Dick (Stuart) and how he is cleverly kept away from the BigCrook (Richie) by the Big Toss (Paddy) so let us not confuse the issue. Immense pressure is placed on all parties involved in the All Black’s campaign to finally secure their second RWC trophy. Add to this the fact that it is being staged in NZ and you have real potential for heart break. Conrad Smith was clearly feeling the pressure when he commented to the media that “Kiwi fans are justified in being panicky after the defeat to the Aussies”. Everything has to work out perfectly if a Rugby World Cup is going to be won, any mistake or miscalculation can derail the campaign and therefor all hands have to be on deck!

Somehow I think Paddy’s had his hands on deck loooooong before it was needed and The Dick was cunningly kept hidden far from where he could prove to be a pebble in the boot of any Kiwi foot soldier.

A. Waldeck

Pic: zimbio.com