This weekend plays host to the final round robin games of this year’s Kerrie Beker, and as always when we approach the final bend of the domestic rugby season the maths is long and complicated as the various teams still in with a sniff of the play-offs or in contention for home semi-final berths, keep an eye on each other’s results in order to be able to determine their own minimum requirements to get their desired log positions.

Given the state of my matric mathematics results, I’m woefully under-qualified to be presenting this information to you, so I’ll gloss over the minutiae and focus rather on the permutations that really matter, primarily the 3 teams in the race for 4^th spot on the log.

Basically, it looks like this: only Western Province have their destiny in their own hands, and a 5 point win against the Pumas will end anybody else’s claim for a semi no matter what result they achieve. The Bulls need to win with 5 log points against the Leppids (no biggie there) and then hope WP at best wins without the 4 try bonus point. Even then, they’ll need to really wallop the Leppids in order to make up ground against WP’s superior points aggregate. Griquas are distant dark horses for a semi-final spot, and they’ll need to beat the Cheetahs with a bonus point for 4 tries and win by about 40-odd points while they’re at it, and then still hope that both WP and the Bulls lose badly, which I don’t see happening.

In between the higher grade maths, and as a consequence of the national team’s Bryce Lawrence-inspired early exit from the World Cup, there are a couple of Springboks available for selection this week and undoubtedly for the play-offs, and most provincial coaches couldn’t resist the temptation to field their strongest available outfits. All except John Mitchell that is, who has elected to rest several key players this week since the Lions have already qualified for a home semi-final this year rendering this weekend’s result against the Sharks effectively meaningless. Whether or not bringing players who are returning from national duty proves to be more disruptive than effective remains to be seen, but with the best possible log finish now being of primary concern, a coach would have to be a complete loon not to pick his available Boks.

(Some old lady sitting behind me here at the coffee shop just cracked a good one: What’s the difference between Bryce Lawrence and Viagra? With Viagra at least you get a semi…

Nice one, you dirty bird you…)

BULLS vs LEOPARDS (Loftus Versfeld, Pretoria. Friday 7.10pm)

Admittedly, the Leppids looked quite feisty last week against the Sharks, and but I don’t know whether their desire to finish the season well will be enough against the Bulls’ desire to make the play-offs. In fact, I know it won’t be – Bulls fans can cuddle up to the TV tonight to watch the Leppids get beaten like the wayward dogs that they are, and then spend the rest of the Currie Cup crying themselves to sleep thinking about what might’ve been if only they’d started the season better.

Bulls by 30 or so.

CHEETAHS vs GRIQUAS (Free State Stadium, Bloemfontein. Saturday 3.00pm)

I’m really looking forward to this one: if the conditions are dry and hard we can look forward to an enterprising and free-flowing game since both teams will be looking for a maximum of 5 log points out of this encounter.

Historically, the contest between these 2 outfits produces close results, but I’m going to stick my neck out and pick the Cheetahs at a canter – I have a feeling that the Cheetahs are starting to peak towards the play-offs and are going to deal with the Griquas’ challenge quite effectively in the first hour of the game and then finish well once the fight has gone out of their provincial neighbours.

Cheetahs by 15.

WESTERN PROVINCE vs PUMAS (Newlands, Cape Town. Saturday 5.05pm)

WP will run out on Saturday knowing that if they don’t manage to secure a semi-final spot with a bonus-point win against the Pumas they’ll have no one to blame but themselves, since they are fortunate enough to be able to decide their own fate – a big win for them guarantees a semi, simple as that.

The Pumas have looked more than competitive for the last 6 weeks, and I reckon they’ll be a handful again tomorrow at Newlands, particularly if it’s wet. Province’s barrage of returning Boks are all highly influential players in highly influential positions though, and herein lies the difference between the 2 sides.

WP by 12.

SHARKS vs LIONS (Mr. Price King’s Park, Durban. Saturday 7pm)

The Sharks have somehow managed to look brilliant and simultaneously rubbish in equal measures of late, and will be leaning on the presence of a few returning Springboks this weekend to gather 5 log points against a second-string Lions outfit and thereby secure a home semi-final over the Cheetahs.

Tough one to call, this one… Home ground advantage and under-strength opposition makes me think it’s going to be the Sharks on top after the 80…

Sharks by 12.